Assuming you’re over the age of 21 and you’re not a complete and not a total shut-in, there’s a good chance that you’ll be invited to go day drinking at least once in your life. Whether or not you get invited back out for bottomless mimosas next week depends on how strictly you adhere to these steps. All right, maybe it has a little to do with your personality too. Regardless, let’s dive right in.
Start the day off right
The way you start your day really determines what the rest of your day will look like. In the case of day drinking, you’ll need to be ready to rock. Ideally, you’ve already mentally prepped for a day of drinking the previous night. But assuming you haven’t, it’s time to spice up your morning routine. It’s go time.
You’re not just getting ready for work, you’re getting ready to potentially tear up the town! Time to throw back the covers, jump out of bed, close the blinds before that good morning stretch so your creepy neighbor can’t spy on you, and turn on whatever your latest jam is. Mine is currently “Girl” by Jukebox The Ghost, not that anyone’s asking.
Keep it casual, but not too casual
Unlike a normal night out on the town, day drinking goes down, well, in the daylight. This means that you won’t have the darkness to hide your grungy looks. A t-shirt and jeans just won’t cut it this time. Time to throw open the closet doors and find something that pops, because if you’re going to be stumbling down the street at noon, you might as well look great while doing it.
A wise man once said that you should always wear some form of layers. That wise man is me. Layering up presents you with an opportunity to show off a unique third piece. A great third piece completes your look while simultaneously keeping you comfortable throughout your day drinking adventures.
Now, we here at D.M. Burton take style seriously, but it’s important to remember not to overcomplicate things. After all, you’re going day drinking, not attending the Met Gala. If the sun’s out, bust those guns out and rock your favorite tank, some chino shorts, and a hat. If it’s on the chillier side, grab a comfy t-shirt, jeans, gym shoes, and a cool jacket to throw on top.
Sidenote: as it is currently pride month, we’d be remiss if we didn’t tell you that if ever there were ever a time to dress to a theme, it’s now. So, if you’re out celebrating pride and you don’t look like a rainbow threw up on you (in a good way), then you’re probably going about pride all wrong.
The most important meal of the day
Breakfast is not the most important meal of the day. That’s right, kids. Your parents lied to you. Your doctor lied to you. Even those Frosted Flakes commercials lied to you. The most important meal of the day is the one you have right before you start drinking. Eat too much and you’ll feel too full and bloated while you drink. Eat too little and you’ll be stumbling at the bar like a drunk sorority girl right as the party is just getting started. And speaking of being too drunk…
Remember, kids. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. You’re not in college anymore (and if you are, pay us no mind and party on, you crazy kids). This isn’t a Seth Rogen movie where you can chug half a bottle of Grey Goose and function like a human being afterwards. No, no. In the real world, actions have consequences. For example, if you take nine shots of tequila in an hour, there’s a very good chance that you’ll end up passed out on the floor while all your friends post pictures of you to their Snapchat story. Either that, or they’ll haul you around like a rag doll a la “Weekend at Bernie’s,” which honestly isn’t the worst thing that could happen.
Hydration, hydration, hydration
Keeping an eye on how much alcohol you’re downing isn’t the only key to winning at day drinking. Hydration is the name of the game here. In an ideal world, you’d drink a glass of water after every drink you have. Now, we here at DM Burton understand that the mind doesn’t always work that way after you’ve tossed a few back, so we’d be content if you just asked for a cup of water whenever you remember that you don’t want to be a zombie the next morning. Snacks are important too. Bar popcorn and pretzels are your best friend when you’re tipsy at 3pm on a Sunday.
Remember to have fun
You can prepare for or plan out your day of drinking as much or as little as you please, but at the end of that day, only one thing matters: whether or not you had fun. This pride month is filled with opportunities to get your day drunk on, and we’re speaking from experience when we say: if you follow our handy dandy how-to guide, there’s no way you won’t have a good time. So pump yourself up, pick out your most colorful, vibrant outfit, and get out there.